Awareness and Understanding. Keys to True Success?
Success is a man made concept derived from external factors.
Unwittingly, we embed those concepts and make them part of our identity.
The need for lots of money to buy things that show our success; the houses, the cars, the trappings of a successful life. Outward demonstrations to elicit outward approval. Reinforcement that we are worthy humans.
We drive forward with our desires for more and more of this. We tell ourselves that we are helping others to also fulfill their desires.
I was pondering recently why there had been such a massive increase in anxiety, stress and depression over the last thirty years. Is it coincidental that we have access to more and more things that we can hook our desires to?
No, it is not.
More and more things that remove us from who we authentically are, the person we were born to be. More and more things to focus on that create a sense of lack as if something is missing in our lives.
I recently experienced what some would see as an “existential crisis”; I retreated and questioned everything I had been doing and its purpose. Was there a purpose?
I started to do more and more things that I love to do, simply to please myself. I found my love for cooking delicious food that had been off my radar simply because I believed the story that they weren’t good for me - that they made me fat. The good news is, actually the opposite has happened. They don’t make me fat; they make me feel nourished and abundant with gratitude for some of the wonderful memories that they evoke.
I remembered that I loved to spend time in my garden tending to my roses. And whilst I no longer have a garden with roses, I can capture the same feeling spending time in my local park just sitting and being with such beautiful surroundings.
When I was seventeen I volunteered to mentor two small girls who had what we now term, a dysfunctional family background. Ordinarily they would have been written off by society however they had been taken under the wing of some local nuns and that’s how we connected.
It wasn’t easy, these two bundles of energy were wild cats to start with and kept my seventeen year old self on her toes! I loved spending time with them and just creating a space for fun in their lives. We’d play and run around the park, laugh out loud; we’d enjoy the pleasure of sweet treats. And once I took them to the cinema, in the ninety minutes we were there, I think I aged over 20 years. They saw it as an opportunity to play hide and seek!
We lost touch when I went off to college, however my mum had contact with them right through to adulthood. They still asked after me many years after we had gone our separate ways.
I have come to realise that doing something I loved, playing, having fun and laughing, had made such a massive difference to others. When we light ourselves up, we illuminate possibilities for others.
Over the years of creating the successful career, making lots of money and continually driving forward, I’d lost touch with who I was born to be: a human being and not a human doing existence I was leading.
Through awareness of the “rules” I had been following in my life, believing them to be me, I gained an understanding that allowed me to step away from the need to hook myself to external big desires.
Yes, I experience desires in the need for food, for shelter and the basics of life - I am human after all.
And, from this space of bliss, because that is what I experience, I can consciously choose to create more, if I would love to have it as part of my human experience. Not to define me nor to demonstrate anything to others.
Finding my bliss, through awareness and understanding and by remembering those simple pleasures that lit me up has given me clarity. I’m truly creating a life that I love.
There are often many clues to connecting with our bliss in childhood.
How did you like to spend your time?
What did you do that would see the hours passing in a blur of contentment?
And developing your awareness...
How has your need for success shaped your life?
And from that place of understanding...
How will you make time for you to do something for you, today, tomorrow and every day after that for the rest of your life, that fills you with bliss?